An Authentic, Sometimes Gritty, and Always Hopeful Blog for All Who Live with Severe Physical Pain

Monday, October 10, 2011

I Couldn't Hide from the Pain Today

Me, in great pain
I wrote this poem a few years ago, during an intensely difficult day.  I hope it will let you know you are not alone, while also pointing you to hope. 

"I Couldn’t Hide from the Pain Today…"

I woke up knowing this was going to be a “high” pain day; throughout the night, pain bloomed like frost across my check and inching its way down into my teeth and jaw.  When my husband woke, I asked him to bring me a warm compress.  I held it to my face, praying for comfort …
            …but I couldn’t hide from the pain today.

I dragged myself out of bed.  Pulling on my bathrobe, I carefully avoided touching my face, brushing my hair, or anything else that might set off pain.  I let my coffee completely cool before I took a sip…
but I couldn’t hide from the pain today.

It was everywhere.  It was in my husband’s hug, in the ring of the telephone, and it seemed to leap off the pages of the newspaper.  I reached for my computer, searching for new suggestions for pain relief…
            …but I couldn’t hide from the pain today.

I poured a bubble bath, hoping to relax my tense muscles but the pain followed me there, sliding around my skin.   I took an extra pain pill…         
…but I couldn’t hide from the pain today.

I forced myself to get dressed and go outdoors hoping for a few minutes of distraction.  I walked to my mailbox, and turned when I heard a neighbor call “hello” to me from where she was planting bulbs in her yard.  I waved back, gripped with a sense of loss for my old life.  I avoided looking at my neglected yard, while telling myself to “snap out of it.” 
…but I couldn’t hide from the pain today.
The darkness came early and I welcomed it.  I hope tomorrow will be better.  Regardless, the Lord is with me and He will not abandon me.
…But today, I couldn’t hide from the pain.

                                                               by Judi S. Coleman

Because of your great love, Lord,
I am not consumed by this pain;
for your compassions never fail.
They are new every morning,
so great is your faithfulness, O my Lord.

In the vein of 
Lamentations 3:21-23

Thank you for reading,

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